Saturday, October 24, 2009

Chain of love

It's interesting how going from having just two partners to having three or more can create complicated networks of romantic relationships. My own network already has quite a few people in it. In our case, it turns out to be a line, which has a certain aesthetic elegance to it:

    M - G - W - Galen - Karma - C - M - C
This particular line of lovers has also fostered something of a family feel among us. It's not uncommon that we all end up together to watch Doctor Who or share a meal. I imagine as the connections grow, so will our sense of family.

Recent events remind me of the added STI risks of polyamory. Someone down the line added a partner for a short while, which brought at least another 4 people into our network. It turned out one of them has herpes. Thanks to communication, that has halted some things as people take stock and prepare for testing.

The fragile health of some in our line in some ways constrains our choices and limits the growth of our network. This isn't entirely a bad thing. It increases our communication, curbs our impulses, and helps to filter out some poor choices.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

At peace

One of the things my new relationship with Wendy brings to my life is a certain peace that's hard to explain. Part of it is that she's a refreshingly low-drama lady. I was searching for that in secondary partners, but didn't take for granted that I'd be fortunate enough to find it. The poly community seems to be rife with people who thrive on creating and consuming drama.


Another peaceful aspect of my relationship with Wendy is how we are when we're together. Yes, we talk when we're having dinner or out for a walk or the like. We talk about all sorts of things. But for some reason, when we're in each other's arms, we tend not to talk much beyond goofy-cutesy stuff. We like to joke that her bed has a certain gravity that makes it difficult to leave, and that relaxed peace we share there is no doubt one source.

No doubt some of this peace simply a result of having found a secondary partner that's clearly good for me. My first experience with polyamory (outside cyberspace) was a failure and lent to my sense that I was doomed by circumstances and my own failings. I was surrounded by potential partners, yet none seemed appropriate. Success with Wendy validated the sense that I'm not entirely a tragic freak. That's a good feeling that certainly brings me peace.

I intend to keep Wendy as a friend and partner for life. Will this sense of peace last forever? I don't know, but I'm content to enjoy and inculcate for as long as I can.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

My polyamory today

It has been a long time since I posted and much has happened since we became poly. I want to post some updates in hopes some others might benefit from my experiences.


Here's the thumbnail sketch of my poly experience to date:
  • Began by experimenting with poly in Second Life.
  • Joined a local poly support / social group.
  • Joined another local couple in a quad that lasted a short while.
  • Made some friends on OkCupid, but no partners.
  • Partnered with a refreshingly low-drama woman who is already part of a triad.
I want to flesh out this story, because it leaves a lot out. But this is a start.




About Me

I'm polyamorous. Galen is the pseudonym I use to shield my real identity to protect myself from the stigma regrettably associated with polyamory. This is my free place; my comfortable space. A request. If you have me friended on FaceBook or in other "real life" venues, please don't talk about poly related stuff. Thank you.

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